Tuesday, July 16, 2013

A difficult post

I could never bring myself to write this post while in China.  Perhaps the emotions were just too fresh.

The day before we saw the US consulate, I met our guide at the hotel to review and organize our paperwork for the big visa appointment the next day.  I saw Sophia's Chinese passport for the first time, and I remember giggling at her passport picture where she is sporting a huge bow on her head.  She will hate me someday for that.  ;)

The other document I saw for the first time was Sophia's abandonment paper, the official Chinese document stating the details of her abandonment and finding.  It was printed in both English and Mandarin and was authenticated with some kind of seal.  This document is needed to verify that a child has true orphan status and is available for adoption.

Viewing this piece of paper was so emotional for me.  I felt the tears welling up in my eyes.  I stared blankly at my guide, and he knew to give me a moment.  The details of Sophia's abandonment were not a surprise to me.  In fact, everything matched what I had read many times on her referral papers and in her finding ad.  But for some reason, seeing it again after actually meeting my daughter was a new, profound experience.  Now, I had held Sophia close, rocked her to sleep, and dried her tears.  I had seen her beautiful smile.  Now, I knew I would do anything for her.

Someday, sweet Sophia will read this document herself.  She will know her story.  We will face  difficult conversations and tackle questions that may be steeped in hurt, confusion,  and disappointment.  I pray The Lord will provide the answers I need at just the right time.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Psalms 34:18

My two blessings


  1. Both are adorable. We have been truly blessed by getting to share your special journey. Thanks is not enough for all you done.
    God is so Great.

  2. Beauty instead of ashes; oil of gladness instead of mourning. Your girls are lovely.

  3. I can't even imagine! So many unknown answers!

  4. What a great picture! I love Sophia's smile. ;) I think about these painful conversations too. The Lord is with us and just like you said, He will provide the right answers at the right time. He always does. God bless you. ~Tina