Thursday, August 29, 2013

Happy Birthday Sophia!

Happy Birthday to the sweetest little girl I know!  Sophia, you have captured our hearts, and we can't imagine life without you!  You are adored by so many, and you bring such joy to our lives.  We are incredibly blessed to have you in our forever family!  We love you!

 She wasn't quite sure what to do with the candle, but big brother was happy to help her blow it out.  The fork, though, she understood!  Cheesecake....yummy!

One of her favorite birthday presents was the kiddie pool.  We've spent every afternoon since lounging by the pool.  Well.....ok, it's not quite big enough for me but I'm close by relaxing in a rocking chair. she is sacked out the day after her birthday!  Too much celebrating for this party animal!

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Say cheese

Our first attempt at a professional photo shoot with two kids was a complete disaster!  How does anyone get good pictures when you have more than one child????  I would love to know your secret.

I suppose I'm a glutton for punishment because I decided to try again at home.  Still no luck.
At least one of them is smiling

Even a kiss from big brother didn't help

No...that won't work

Ok, I give up!
This picture I captured last night after bath time.  Both kiddos are laughing and having a good 'ol time!  If only I had thought to bring an empty laundry basket with me to the photography studio!  Maybe next time...


Friday, August 9, 2013

One month home!

One month ago.....finally home!
One month home!  Where does the time go?  We feel extremely blessed that Sophia is adjusting so quickly. She is attaching to both Adam and me, and she adores her big brother Levi.  Who knew siblings could be so much fun?  In the morning and at nap time, Levi begs to wake up Sophia.  My answer is always the same.... "DO NOT wake up your sister...or else!"  Never wake a sleepy baby.  Those are words to live by.

Here's a few things we've learned about Sophia since Gotcha Day:

1.  She loves to eat anything and everything and all the time!

2.  Despite her cleft hands, she has remarkable dexterity.  In fact, a recent developmental test suggests her fine motor skills were equivalent to a 33 month old.

3.   She is leery of strangers.  Who wouldn't be in her situation?

4.  Still no words, but she is quite vocal and has a way of making her point.

5.  She is a FANTASTIC sleeper!  (We are hoping this rubs off on her brother.)

6.  She loves to give slobbery, drool covered kisses, and I gladly accept them!

Sophia is a happy, loving child who is a blessing to our family all around.  Man, what an awesome God we serve!  The Lord knew exactly what He was doing, and I praise Him for His perfect timing and faithfulness.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

This is DQ country

There is nothing like country livin...and this is coming from a city girl who at one time thought she had been banished to a rural, no man's land.  But now, there's no going back for me! We spend our evenings driving the golf cart up and down the road, watching for the neighborhood owl, and we can actually build a campfire right outside our back door.   And if you ever drive through rural East Texas, you are bound to see a Dairy Queen in every small town.

Sophia loved her first taste of the DQ! Mini size, strawberry blizzard.  She ate it ALL with a little help from her big brother after he finished off his sundae.  Now that is good country livin!

Attachment is a journey

I always want to be honest in my posts. Sometimes, adoption is not an easy road.  But then again, most valuable relationships take work.

Although Sophia's adjustment is moving along, we have occasional setbacks in the attachment process.  You the time Sophia came to her "forever family", she had experienced multiple losses in her short life.  Loss of her birth mother.  Loss of her original caretaker.  And then just a few weeks ago, loss of her orphanage nanny.  After being hurt multiple times, we can find it difficult to trust again.  Why make ourselves vulnerable when that person could disappear just like the others?  This is the emotional dilemma that the newly adopted child finds themselves in.

We have good days and bad days with Sophia.  Some mornings she is all smiles with lots of hugs and other mornings she goes into the corner and turns her back to me.  It's as though she is thinking, "Is this mommy the real thing?"  (I am!)  "Will she love me through thick and thin?"  (I will!)  "Can she be trusted?"  (I can!)  Attachment is a journey that takes time, but we are in it for the long haul.

This essay entitled "A Different Perspective" gives such incredible insight into what a newly adopted child might be feeling.  It's told from the perspective of a new bride, and I think it hits the nail right on the head.

A Different Perspective
Immense Loss; Walk a Mile in Baby’s Booties

Imagine for a moment…

You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a 

spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancee. You love his 
touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by "soul mate," for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.

The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world…the person who will be with you for the rest of your life.

The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face.

But IT'S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved?

You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back,...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.

But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?

Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.

You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.

Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.

More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?

You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried.

The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you.

You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.

The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to "get along." You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.

Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair.

Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.

He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black.

You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to sleep.

People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness.

Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.

Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.

--Written by Cynthia Hockman-Chupp, analogy courtesy of Dr. Kali Miller

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Summer Days

We've been staying close to home a lot lately to allow Sophia time to adjust to her new surroundings.  Some days, we don't even get out of our pajamas!  One of Levi's favorite afternoon activities is building a "house" out of the couch cushions and setting up shop inside.  Sophia was happy to join in on the fun!  I love seeing my kiddos play together....that is when they aren't arguing over toys or one has the other pinned to the ground in a head lock. :)

Here's some pics of how we pass the time:
Please pardon my son's nudity...he sees little need for clothing in the summer!

Sophia loved climbing through the tunnel house
"What IS this thing?"
First trip to the neighbor's trampoline

Picking tomatoes from the garden

Levi pushing Sophia, a bit too fast for her taste!


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

A difficult post

I could never bring myself to write this post while in China.  Perhaps the emotions were just too fresh.

The day before we saw the US consulate, I met our guide at the hotel to review and organize our paperwork for the big visa appointment the next day.  I saw Sophia's Chinese passport for the first time, and I remember giggling at her passport picture where she is sporting a huge bow on her head.  She will hate me someday for that.  ;)

The other document I saw for the first time was Sophia's abandonment paper, the official Chinese document stating the details of her abandonment and finding.  It was printed in both English and Mandarin and was authenticated with some kind of seal.  This document is needed to verify that a child has true orphan status and is available for adoption.

Viewing this piece of paper was so emotional for me.  I felt the tears welling up in my eyes.  I stared blankly at my guide, and he knew to give me a moment.  The details of Sophia's abandonment were not a surprise to me.  In fact, everything matched what I had read many times on her referral papers and in her finding ad.  But for some reason, seeing it again after actually meeting my daughter was a new, profound experience.  Now, I had held Sophia close, rocked her to sleep, and dried her tears.  I had seen her beautiful smile.  Now, I knew I would do anything for her.

Someday, sweet Sophia will read this document herself.  She will know her story.  We will face  difficult conversations and tackle questions that may be steeped in hurt, confusion,  and disappointment.  I pray The Lord will provide the answers I need at just the right time.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Psalms 34:18

My two blessings